By: Shreyanshi Jha & Akshita Singh
The word ‘father’ is the origin of a relationship that relies upon trust and care, selfless care. Selflessness is the proper word we could ever find to describe this kind of relationship. Such love and pain of the Father-Daughter relationship has been penned down and these beautiful lines depicts the exact emotions in words.
In case you haven’t watched the song: https://youtu.be/WqUXVw0WlXc
ब छसे ख़ानमूज कूर
द्यु म रुखसात म्यान बोय जानो
ब छसे ख़ानमूज कूर
द्यु म रुखसात म्यान बोय जानो
ब छसे ख़ानमूज कूर
“I’m your dearest daughter,
now it’s time to bid me farewell, O my beloved Daddy.
I am the darling daughter,
bid me farewell, my brother,
I’m the darling daughter of the family..”
This song has been taken from movie Raazi directed by Meghana Gulzaar. This movie is based on the book “calling Sehmat” by Harinder S.Sikka. the story is about a Kashmiri girl who agrees to marry a Pakistani officer in order to spy on Pakistan during Indo-Pak war in 1971.
Song written by Gulzar and sung by Harshdeep Kaur, Shanker Mahadevan, Vibha Shraf and music by Shankar Ehsan Loy.
The inevitable pain has been penned by maestro “Gulzar” this bring out the pain of “bidai”. Every women can relate to this song.
In the lyrics bride is mentioning her pain of departure from her father house where her childhood has been spent.
Now, this pain increases as she is not only leaving her father’s home but also her homeland, her beloved India. Her palpitations could be felt; she is suffering from fear of adjusting in a complete new environment. She has to accept a new family whom she even didn’t knew few days back.
The words will strike every human who left their father’s abode and went to someone else’s house to make it a heaven. Dilbaro song has tugged many and made them play it on a loop with teary eyes. It gave words to the unexpressed emotion of a daughter and father. Father is bidding adieu to her daughter and hoping soon Sehmat will return after completing the work he assigned to her. The lyrics are simple, powerful and beautiful it strikes you at right corner of your heart.
Her the daughter is requesting her father that it was you who made me learn how to walk but this threshold is little high for me I am not able to cross it please help to cross it. Then she says to her father that if you are helping me to cross this high threshold please help me to surpass the pain I am going through. This shows how much daughter trust their father you know they think that everything is possible for her father to achieve.
Then father write about his pain he says that wherever you go my blessings is with you. Soon this departure of yours will be turned to your arrival. To hide the pain he is going through he requests her daughter to not to turn and see the pain in his heart that is visible on his face so clearly.
Daughters are the princess of their father but due to societal norms they have to get her marry and the pain of loneliness that it lefts is so well brought in life.
“My little dilbaro be brave and fight with your battles I am always with you.” Fathers thought, which many at times he is not able to express but a daughter always know what he thinks.
The moment we hear the song it make us all imagine the scene that has been stereotyped in our minds. Yes, a stereotype but a truth. This generalization of the norm ‘bidai’ is nothing but a sacrifice that a father has to do for the sake of the societal norm. It’s such an irony, fathers always finds it difficult to make her daughter leave from their house and be a member of some other house but they do so. They do it because they’ve to. That’s what has been decided. A sacrifice has to be made by a father, who is a father of a daughter.
“फसलें जो काटी जायें
उगती नहीं हैं
बेटियाँ जो ब्याही जाएँ
मुड़ती नहीं हैं”
These lines depicts it all. Once you as a father decide to marry your girl, you must prepare yourself to let her be a member of some other family.
One can easily find a girl or woman filled with tears while hearing this song. Our mothers would generally cry on “bidaai” scenes and just would say softly, “it remembered me of mine”.
Obviously, a house where you lived with your beloveds, one day, a day would come when you’ve to leave that house and shift to another one with full of strangers.
At that moment, the girl realize the father she used to flaunt on, the house she called as of her own, the people she considered as hers are all needed to get changed.
The father at that moment would remember the whole childhood of his daughter. The day he held her for the first time, the day she went to the school first time, the day she won prize for the first time, the day she made herself self-reliant and finally, the day when she’s going to leave him for the next phase of her life.
But this moment is just not a sacrifice it’s a matter of pride for an Indian father. A moment of pride where he as a father would complete his duties towards his daughter. He’s making his daughter settled by marrying her. He leaves his daughter with all the love he could gather in his heart and all the blessings he could have in his brain.
A father of a daughter is the most respected person on the earth. He for the betterment of the society and for it’s norms willingly gives his daughter to other family.
“मेरे दिलबरो
बर्फें गलेंगी फिर से
मेरे दिलबरो
फसलें पकेंगी फिर से
तेरे पाँव के तले
मेरी दुआ चले
दुआ मेरी चले”
Yes, a father gives his all with pain in his heart, tears in his eyes, request on his lips and blessings in heart. So, the only purpose to write this one was to just revive the jwels of this song and to picture again the moment where a father performs his duty, a proud sacrifice for his daughter’s social development.
Daksha 